Do you still have your period?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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