my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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