I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
