In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
