his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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