My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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