i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
