It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
