i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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