So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
