You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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