Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
