walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
