So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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