highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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