Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
