Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
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