I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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