FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
