god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
