He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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