can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
