My hand turned me down
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
