You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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