I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
