Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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