I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
