her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
