just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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