I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
