I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
