I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
