Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
