maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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