Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
