marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize