I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
