I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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