Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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