You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
