are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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