worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
