I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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