I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
