it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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