Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
false alarm, still single
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
