took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
