whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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