Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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