dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
