I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
