And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
