honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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