Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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