I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
