What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
