I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
