Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just want to make out with him forever
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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