Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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