Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to make out with him forever
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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