six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
