YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
