The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
