Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
