Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
