I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
