It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
