she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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