Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
